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Self-sabotage is it fact or feeling?  The answer is actually irrelevant when it comes to analysis but the reality is it can hold us back from growing our business.

Some people hinder their own success, are afraid of rejection, or failure or losing friends for fear of not being perfect.

Some people don’t know what they are afraid of, but they know they feel real fear and see the pattern of failure.

One way out of self-sabotage is spending time analysing what you are afraid of, getting to the root cause and fixing it.  But very often another self-sabotage activity pops up keeping you stuck as if you’ve got one foot nailed to the ground and you’re spinning yourself in a circle!

First let’s understand what you are really afraid of, then ask yourself is it real?

Or is this FACT or a FEELING?

The majority of the time the fear won’t be real.  Or in the worst case the fear in our minds has grown out of proportion to reality.  You think the fear is a lion, when really it’s a playful kitten.  We keep thinking about the kitten and it grows to become the biggest roaring lion and we believe that the worst thing we’ve created in our mind is real, but it’s not – it’s a feeling.

Neuroscience gives us insights into what is really happening.  Our primitive brain has one job: survival.  That’s it!  As the human species we have survived by eating, having sex and running away from threats.  And it’s lazy!  The primitive brain likes nothing more than snoozing, but to do that it needs to feel safe.  When your primitive brain is in charge it’ll creative a delicious chemical cocktail to over indulge your mind and concoct every possible reason to keep you stuck where you are – and that includes self-sabotaging.

Let’s take back control!

Here’s how to keep your primitive brain friendly and move away from self sabotage.

Learn to listen to your instinct, your gut reaction and follow it.  Immediately, before the negative muscle memory derails it.

Act now!  Immediately.  One tiny, little step towards your goal.  And as soon as you’ve taken the little step, reward yourself with something you enjoy.  The caveat here is to keep your rewards in line with your actions.  I often reward myself with a cup of tea in the garden after I’ve taken action.  If it’s a bigger goal with multiple steps – maybe a bigger monthly income figure – then lots of little rewards and a bigger reward too.

If your primitive monkey brain starts chattering about all the reasons it’s a bad idea, then that’s a sure sign that you are doing the right thing!  Follow your gut, it is far more intelligent than the monkey.

Being able to trust your gut and your intuition is powerful.  It’s not woo woo, it is a culmination of collective consciousness that we all have access to.  But, how do you hear your gut feeling?  How can you really understand what it is trying to say to you?  Better still how can you learn to trust your gut?

Here are five simple ways to help you get started:

  1. Listen to it. The inner voice, the feeling deep inside.  It’s like a muscle and the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
  2. Live life in the present. Stop worrying about the past.  Plan for the future.  Focus on this moment.
  3. Observe your energy levels. Watch how you feel around different people and in different places.  This is you gut feeling helping you out and letting you know what is good for you and what is not.
  4. Meditate.  Get to know your inner landscape.  Quieten your mind.  Find your still point and you will find it easier to tap into your instinct.
  5. Write a diary. Keep it factual and purposeful.  Don’t dismiss your feelings, track them.  You are likely to see patterns arising around particular people or places or situations and if you do that’s your instinct trying to tell you something.  Your job is to make friends with your instinct, listen and choose whether you’ll act.

If you would like help to ditch self-sabotage or tap in to your gut feeling you can contact me and I’ll share how.